I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You are the jesus of drinking
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
