Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
