I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's official drugs can't kill me
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
