for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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