So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize