I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize