I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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