Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
