I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
