the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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