just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize