woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize