All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
