At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
