On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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