was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
