Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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