Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
