Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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