she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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