As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
