Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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