I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
oh god the rape fog is back!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
