Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
