i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
