you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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