I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
