literally had 100 drinks last night.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize