I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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