I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
