look no pants
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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