Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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