then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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