You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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