bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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