I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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