cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
