I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
