just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
