I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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