I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
