I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
