Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
