just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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