So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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