I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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