So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
