He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
