Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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