Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
