I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
