"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
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then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
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I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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