How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
