So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
