She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
